Sunday, February 25, 2007

Who Am I - What's In A Name?

Who Am I - What's In A Name?
As mom has aged these past years and her memories have traveled back and forth through the decades, I have always said as long as she knows my name, knows who I am, it's all ok. Then one afternoon this summer find the word. She knew that she knew the answer, but she just couldn't locate it in her archives! then I asked her...what's my name? She named my oldest sister Joyce, who has past away, I said nope, then she named my other sister Lois, who has also past away. Again I said nope. She said I just can't remember! That's ok mom, I'm your daughter and my name is Donna. Donna! she said as if to firmly plant it in the memory banks so as not to forget again!

Today, my husband asked her who I was and she said with a smile, "That's my baby!" What's her name, he asked her, "Donna Mae!" she said very emphatically! She never uses my middle name, so that was kind of funny for us. Shoot, I'm happy for her to just remember my first name!

When I left her room the afternoon she couldn't remember my name, it was one of those moments. A moment that only a parent caregiver can understand. The one who named you, cared for you as a child, helped you as a young adult, and now dependent on you for her care, has forgotten who you are. It was a moment, probably due to the fact she was tired combined with her meds, and it passed. But the effect it had on me, was a bit longer lasting. It's all still ok, but I know that each day that comes, could be one of those moments, that she knows that she knows me, but who are you?

So, what's in a name? A lifetime.

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